Have your own life. If you tend to fall into the “friend zone”, this will be especially important. Real girls (girls with a strong sense of purpose and self-worth) don’t like guys who have no lives, and who cling to them like plastic wrap. Some girls do like that, but for all the wrong reasons—–either they’re insecure and needy for attention, or they’re control freaks who have a need for dominating guys. Unless you want to sign up for either of those scenarios, focus filling your time with your own friendships, interest, hobbies and goals.
Make an impression. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution here. What impresses one girl might make another roll her eyes. Your best bet is to be yourself. Demonstrate a unique skill, talent or something difficult to do that you’re proud of, like playing guitar and singing in tune at the same time, something that sets you apart from the crowd. Not only will this make her feel good about you, but it can boost your confidence, too. Impress her, but do not boast too much about your great achievements and plans.
Be her friend. Girls don’t just fall for random strangers. (Well, some do, but the relationship never goes very far!) If you’re in the same lecture or tutorial as her, find out her name. Every time she walks into the room, smile at her. Sometimes this is all it takes for a young woman to notice you. At the same time though, don’t do this too often! It will just end up looking like you’re obsessed with her. But if you talk to other women too, like friends of yours, then she’ll see that you’re all there. If she doesn’t seem to see you, when she walks by, just say “Hi _______,” in a friendly way. This way she’ll know you exist.
Speak to her. Don’t just admit that you like her, then be completely silent. If you talk to her once in a while, then she knows you still like her. If you’re completely silent, then she will think that you don’t like her and she won’t like you either. If your conversation skills need a polish, read a few of these:
Flirt. When you see or meet a girl you like, make brief eye contact and smile. Strike up a casual conversation. Most importantly, relax. The more you talk to girls, the more relaxed you’ll become. Don’t think of her as the girl of your dreams; don’t worry about what will happen if you make a bad joke, or if you have something stuck to your teeth. She may be just as nervous, and small mistakes will likely go unnoticed or will simply be ignored. Enjoy interacting with this attractive, friendly girl whose path crossed yours. Live in the moment. Just be careful that you don’t get so caught up in the moment that you say or do something you might regret later.
Talk to her. Tell her what you really enjoy in life, what gets you excited and find out what gets her excited. Be positive. If you had a bad day, still greet her pleasantly with a big smile. Most importantly, listen to everything she says. Whether she talks about herself, her family, hobbies or anything, pay attention. Some things could be useful or important to know later in the relationship. Nod to show that you’re listening, and also respond to what she says so she knows that you really are listening. Women are very appreciative of guys who demonstrate sincere interest in what they say.
Be romantic. The stereotypical icons of romance (roses, candles, chocolate and teddy bears) can only go so far. Think about what really gets that special someone excited. Recognize what makes her unique; find and do things that only she would appreciate. What are her quirky (perhaps secret) interests, obsessions and fantasies? Whenever she’s shopping, talking, or watching a movie, what makes her eyes light up? Pay attention! Girls easily notice if you still remember things they told you a long while ago. Being romantic means acknowledging how special a person is, and that means demonstrating that you know––better than anyone else in the world—–what makes her unique.
Break the touch barrier. There are several ways to touch a girl without being sleazy. Hold her coat while she puts it on. Offer her your hand when she’s stepping on an uneven surface. Hold out your hand so you can lead her through a crowd. If she’s worried, put your hand lightly on her shoulder to comfort her. These are all polite ways to get a little closer to someone without being creepy. Women feel touch more sensitively than most men, even if they put up a tough front, so make sure the touching is light; for example, don’t slap her on the back. If you see any signs of discomfort, stop! Otherwise, she’ll probably enjoy the affection.
Compliment her. If you really like someone, you probably appreciate a lot of things about her. Why not let her know? If anything is different or new (her hairstyle, nail polish color, shirt, etc.), make note of it. The more unique the compliment, the better received it will be, unless she’s shallow. Most girls like being complimented on something that makes them distinct, not something that plenty of other women have. If you compliment her appearance, try to be original, perhaps by specifying a particular feature. Better yet, compliment her personality or skills. If you’re not sure what’s good or bad complimenting, read How to Compliment Girls. You can tell her she’s beautiful only about once or twice. If you’re going to compliment her, compliment her on her personality, how good she is at something, how she does things, etc. If she’s very pretty, it’s likely that several other guys have already mentioned it to her; it may sound trite after a while. Complimenting her appearance too much may make her think you’re shallow and maybe that you just want to have sex with her, and you don’t want to give that impression.
Make her laugh. Telling jokes or funny stories is a classic way to make a person laugh, but not the only way. Find out which are her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her. Be bold and think of some antics that will make her laugh. Tell her to dare you to do something, then do it (as long as it’s not illegal, of course). Laughter will come by itself if both of you are relaxed and enjoying each other’s company.
Ask her out. Invite her to go somewhere or to do something with you. Make sure it’s something that you’re both interested in. If you want, show her your world. Bring her somewhere that you feel comfortable and preferably, where you have or do something you’re proud of. Alternatively, you can express interest in seeing her world. Is she a musician? Ask if you can see her perform. Is she a mathematician? Ask to read her report or thesis. If you aren’t yet ready or comfortable with the idea of sharing your personal lives to that extent, just go out for lunch or do something simple together, maybe with a small group of friends, where you can get to know her better.
Look Good. Keep yourself in good shape and well groomed. Work out run a mile or two, do some sit ups, get a six pack, etc. Just don’t overdo it; girls don’t like it when you have too many muscles, as that just shows that you love your muscles possibly more than you’d love her. The main point is to keep fit. And whatever your age or looks, being well groomed will set you apart from men who can’t be bothered. Every girl likes to know that the guy she’s keen on looks after himself and cares about his presentation to the world. If you want to get a woman to like you, basic cleanliness and appearance makes a huge difference on your success in the dating zone. Brush your teeth, shave etc. When you take care of yourself, it makes you more appealing to others, whether dating or not, and it will have an impact on your level of confidence. If you are going to see that “special someone”, make sure you’re feeling and looking your best. Girls notice things like bad breath, scruffy faces and greasy hair before they notice that winning personality. Give them a chance to see your good qualities by making a good first impression.
Give her high value. Women want to feel important and valued; do not pay only two pennies for her when she knows she is worth fifty pennies, figuratively speaking. When communicating with her, make an effort to say more rather than less and to keep things personal rather than generic. When you want to ask her out or to do something with you, ask in person, preferably at her home. She needs to know that you’re prepared to go the extra mile and not wuss out on her.
After there’s a bit of mutual attraction, start throwing out low-level “bait”––little jokes that hint at interest––to see if she bites. A good baiting statement should be light and playful, and usually ambiguous. There’s a certain look a woman will give you if you get that right (and if she’s the right girl to begin with). It’s like you gave her the secret handshake. She’ll look back at you for a couple of seconds, wondering if you “get it” or if you just accidentally stumbled on the right words. When she does this, hold eye contact, and don’t react. Wait for her to say the next thing. “Baiting” is how women flirt too, so be on the lookout for things she might be “joking” about or things that could have a double meaning.
Take your time. Don’t be pushy or needy. Nice girls normally need longer time than boys to develop deeper feelings. Continue courting her by following the steps above, but don’t rush things. If you end up in a relationship with this girl, she’ll always remember how you made her feel when you were just getting to know each other. Make her feel appreciated, not invisible or smothered. Do the chase slowly, gently but steadily, to allow her to get accustomed to a new man in her life, reduce the fear of sexual advances (if any), and for you to look less desperate. Do not force the relationship; carefully look for clues on where and when you can see her again.
Be yourself. You are unique. Be the authentic you. Bring out your best. Let her know you as who you truly are. Use your talents, gifts, and strengths and let yourself be known. If you have great sense of humor, share that with her. If you love science, music, poetry, politics, or sports, let her know what you love. The right woman will fall for you and love you just the way you are.