Have you noticed a cute boy or girl at school but wondered how you could get a date with that person? Are you a career woman/man and your biological clock’s alarm is ringing? Are you just not sure how to get a date with someone? Here are some steps to help you.
Go where people are. That sounds simplistic, but to get a date, one obviously has to be around other people in various places including: school, library, museum, mall, restaurant, club, sporting event, service organization, party, and so on.
Join an online dating service. It’s a fact that there are more men on these services than women. So, if you’re a woman looking for a man, join up! Some of the big ones will let you in completely free simply because you’re a woman! You will be deluged in messages from interested men. Just remember, beware giving out personal identifying information, never fall for sob stories from poor men far away who need you to give them money, and if you agree to meet, meet somewhere public and busy. Consider having a “play phone” – get a cheap or spare cell phone on a cheap plan, so you can give out its phone number while you’re meeting strangers. If you find a stalker, simply get a new number. Your corporate phone on your business card is going to be a disaster to change the number on.
If you’re a man seeking a woman you’re going to have to work a bit harder. With online dating services, make an effort to put up good (current) photographs, and talk about your life and what you like doing. To rebalance the odds, you could try taking up activities that involve more women than men. Dancing activities (like classes or ballroom dancing activities), theatre, musical activities like choirs and musical theatre, cooking classes, and book clubs all attract more women then men. Women of all ages. You simply being there makes you highly interesting.
Ask for help. Put it out there. Tell all the older people at work and in your community “What I’d really like is to find a nice girl and settle down.” If they find someone for you, get them to host a family dinner with you and the beau/belle as additional guests. The matchmaker can gather intelligence between courses to see if it’s a triumph or disaster, and if it’s not good they can get you both out of it in dignity without a word of discomfort. You’d be amazed how helpful parents and their networks can be with this kind of thing. Referrals from family or friends are really worth looking at – if your uncle invites you to dinner to meet his new co-worker, it’s likely he might have a clue in selecting someone appropriate.
Don’t be put off by a divorcee! Often people come into the singles “market” after a divorce or breakup of a longterm relationship. One divorce shows someone who has had good experience with relationships and the successes and failures. Five divorces of course means something else!
Get to know them. You want to make sure you actually like this person before you ask. The person might not be what you think. Have small conversations with them and compliment them every now and then. Try not to make it too obvious. See how he/she reacts. Does he/she listen to you and seem interested?
Pop the question. If you talk enough and become good friends with them, then they’ll be more interested in you than if you didn’t talk to them at all. Then, say something like “Well, I really would like to get to know you. You seem like a really interesting person, so I was wondering if you’d like to go to the movies on Friday night?” This is simply a guideline but you should actually have something worked out to say so you don’t fumble for the words.
If they say yes, don’t literally jump for joy. Say something like, “Cool. I’ll see you there.” Don’t forget to arrange a meeting place and time. Exchange phone numbers in case something comes up.
Follow through. Don’t play games and stand up your date. Use the phone number if something happens, and you have to change plans.
- If other person has class with you, ask for help with homework or something school related so you can hang out together.
- After a connection is established, try to find out what they like and talk about what you like as well, to find a deeper connection.
- Ask him/her out on a date for a “friendly get-together” or movie or other social place.
- Tell them you really enjoyed your date and hope to see them again soon.